A burden shared
Posted on Monday 31 May 2021 @ 19:40 by Civilian Sansa Draxx-Jones
Mission:
A Cry from the Darkness
Location: Holodeck 1
Timeline: MD8 1130
1969 words - 3.9 OF Standard Post Measure
ON:
Sansa had brought Belle down to the holodeck to get some exercise and also give her a chance to run on a simulated beach. She had selected a location that was pleasantly warm but not too hot and the little pup was very excited. It was a bit cautious at first to go on the golden sans but after a few minutes was running up and down and digging happily. She had not ventured into the water yet and still gave it some confused glances every now and then.
Sansa had sat on a beach towel, alternating between watching Belle and gazing out to sea. At the moment, she just felt numb inside. She had cried a lot yesterday and she still felt there was a lot more to come out but, it just wouldn't.
Hayley was gone.
Mathias couldn't stay put in his quarters, he felt something amiss, wasn't certain what that was, except for the fact Caroline was gone, somewhere. But that wasn't it though, it was something else. He just let his feet carry him to where he needed to go, and soon he found himself in front of the holodeck, his skin prickling up with goosebumps a memory, a very strong memory, coming to the forefront of his mind. That of when Sansa was playing host for Fay. He started to move away but it seemed that the feeling was insistent on him being there. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Mathias stepped through the door into the holodeck. He gasped out slightly seeing the scenery, and then his eyes went to the forlorn figure upon a beach towel and a familiar puppy playing.
Mathias walked over to where she was seated and knelt down near her. "Hello Sansa." he said softly. "Fancy meeting you here."
Recognizing the voice, she tried to put on a smile as she turned her head. "Hello Mathias. Please.." She gestured to the space next to her "join me, I could use the company."
The little pup stopped digging and also came over to investigate the new arrival.
Mathias took a seat, reached out and petted the fluffy pup, "Hello Belle" He had a furrow in his brow, and a sad expression in his eyes.
She studied his face for a moment and for some reason she couldn't explain, instantly she knew something was wrong, and that he was in pain. Taking her mind off her own troubles for a moment, she focused on him. "Mathias, what the matter?"
"Sansa, Caroline's gone, she went to be with her dying grandmother, and she broke things off. I couldn't blame her, long distant things don't seem to work.." giving a sarcastic smile on his next words. "Much like I had told both Fay and Abigale." he murmured softly. "And yet, her dying grandmother wasn't the case, it in some way is a good thing but then there is a bad thing about it. Caroline has been kidnapped."
"Oh, Mathias! I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around him and drew him to her. "I heard my mom and dad talking about it last night. Don't worry. If anyone can find her, Mom can and she will." She tried to laugh, but the sound that came out was hollow, devoid of joy. "It seems that everyone is losing people at the moment. Hayley is gone..." She continued, mentioning it casually as if she were giving him the weather report. "Hey, I'm sure once Caroline is back, you and her will patch things up. You made such a cute couple."
Mathias returned the embrace then released Sansa, "I have faith that we will find her, I have to. I won't give up and I know that we will find her.. " he paused, almost having missed her remark. "Sansa, what's going on? Did you lose someone? Did someone... " his eyes widened and eyebrows raised, "Oh.. Sansa. She's gone isn't she." Mathias feeling a pang hit the center of his chest, for Haylee and he had the beginnings of a friendship.
"It's ok..." Sansa replied, not really believing what she was saying but keeping her voice flat and emotionless. "We talked before she left and we both decided that it wasn't working so...." Suddenly as if unable to repress the sorrow any longer, she just burst into tears and started sobbing. Belle, as if sensing her distress came over to her and started to lick her hand.
Mathias wrapped his arms around Sansa to give her comfort. "Don't worry I won't rust." patting her back soothingly.
Sansa felt his arms enfold around her and everything slowed down. Wait.... was this her memory or Fay's memory.... or both? Her heart was thundering in her ears, her chest heaving, her blood burning through her. Suddenly, before she knew what she was doing, she leaned forward and kissed him passionately.
Her eyes were closed but suddenly she could see... see them in her minds eye walking down the beach, barefoot, hand in hand, her belly swollen with their child....
A voice screamed in her head "No!" and suddenly her eyes snapped open and she pulled back, her cheeks flushed red. She looked down ashamed. "I'm sorry... I don't know what came over...." She willed her breathing to slow, still not able to look him in the eye. "What we have... This friendship... It means a lot to me, and you... you have Caroline. I wouldn't want to hurt her.. or you."
His eyes flared wide, when she kissed him with such great passion, his lips motionless. His hands shifted moving to gently push her back "Sansa, you are fine, we are fine. I think things have changed within you. Being connected with Fay, and yes I am talking about Fay, it may have changed you more than you know. I don't know what went through your mind but something certainly did and it must have been something.. rather earth shattering? You certainly have a great deal of things to think about and how your life is changing, and has changed as well. We will always be friends, and you will be okay, sometime, and so will I. Right now we have some shared grief and troubles we are facing."
Sansa nodded, wiping the tears off her face. "You're a good man Mathias McPhee, and a good friend. Caroline will come around, you'll see. Don't give up on her just yet." She added with a smile before she took another deep breath. "Mom told me that there was that woman on the planet, the one that looks like Amelia. What exactly happened down there? Mom was a bit sketchy on the details." She asked as she picked up Belle and began stroking her.
His face darkened in a way that Sansa hadn't seen before. Mathias was quiet for a moment or two, then he spoke. "We had arrived there and then everything went to hell, well after we got sleep. Explosions, injured all over the place and deaths. We were escaping, someone took a pot shot at us, got hit just a graze. We got somewhere safe, I met MU made a deal with the devil woman, she left but not before she killed the man whom helped me get what was needed to rescue your mother. She was rescued, and they got back safely, after Anya created a vaccine to help us out. I wasn't there for that part. it was a nightmare and... she kissed me, that horrid hag kissed me. Found out that there is another me in that Mirror Universe. Anyway, the Marines and the others were the heroes on the away team."
Sansa listened to his tale open-mouthed. "My God! It sounds terrible." She paused before finally confessing to someone else, other than Hayley, what she had done. "I.... I killed someone. I was on my way back to my quarters when the ship was boarded and I was trapped in a corridor by a phaser fight. Hayley managed to get to me but... she went down and I took her phaser... One of them was coming right at me and .. I fired." She recalled, still not quite believing what she had done. "He vaporised right in front of me. I can still see the look in his eyes..." she added, feeling a shiver run down her spine.
"Oh Sansa, that is horrible what an awful experience you lived through. " Mathias replied, thinking back in his mind to see if he'd had that happen before. Or even killed, well... in one aspect he felt responsible for Ransa's death even though he hadn't pulled the trigger. "I've not truly killed someone, but in essence I caused someone's death." His mind recreating the video he had seen that of Ransa's death. "I feel responsible for what happened to Ransa. That.. that expression can haunt you for the rest of your life. I can empathize what you went through." he focused back on Sansa. "It was an accidental death, Sansa, you probably hadn't fired a phaser before have you? And it may have been set for kill instead of stun. Something that you wouldn't have known about." a pensive thought crossed his mind. "I am thinking that you will need to get training on the phaser and before you protest about that. You need get yourself more prepared just in case situations like this occurs. Take what happened with the attack as a lesson and that you need to make yourself stronger and more skilled. You are a very capable woman, Sansa."
Sansa nodded, accepting the complement. "That's what Hayley said. I know that he would have killed both Hayley and me if he had got that chance, it's still..... I feel..... It makes me feel like a horrible person for killing him. Mankind was supposed to have evolved beyond killing." She turned and looked at him "You're not responsible for what the Mirror version of Amelia did either. She had had a choice, and she chose to take that poor man's life." She took a deep breath. "It used to be so much simpler. I feel sorry for Amelia, having someone who looks exactly like you running around killing and causing destruction."
"I have heard from friends who have said the same thing about killing someone, changes a person, they feel like they have lost a piece of their soul. You didn't do it out of malice." giving a nod. "And I do feel sorry for Amelia, having to deal with someone who will do that under a shared likeness. The lady will come to a bitter end sometime, hated, hunted no friends to turn to. Running out of those she can count on, to bribe, harrass, coerce, and blackmail. She will pay a dear dear price in one form or other." Mathias remarked.
Sansa nodded, slipping a hand into his and giving it a squeeze. "No man knows the value of innocence and integrity but he who has lost them." She turned to him, with a bittersweet look on her face. "Thanks for listening. You want to get a drink?"
Mathias gave Sansa's hand an answering squeeze, "Sure, let's get a drink. Sounds great to me. I wonder if the bartender has a good whiskey under the counter. And I mean the real stuff. Or maybe something else that packs a punch." giving a lopsided smile. He rose up from the towel and pulled Sansa to her feet. "Shall we?"
Still holding Belle in her other hand, Sansa raised her voice. "Compter. End program."
The beach was replaced with the hologrid and they headed for the exit.
●● Lieutenant Mathias McPhee
Chief Operations Officer
USS Merlin
Sansa Draxx-Jones
Civilian Npc
Jones
