Who let the dogs out?
Posted on Tuesday 12 February 2019 @ 19:12 by
Edited on on Tuesday 12 February 2019 @ 22:46
Mission:
The New Collective
Location: Engineering
Timeline: After investigation posts
601 words - 1.2 OF Standard Post Measure
Liz sighed as she ordered a blonde roast. She picked up her coffee with one hand and began rubbing her temple with the other. She was at a loss. Containing this 'pup' was becoming a thorny problem. She had gone through O'Hara's computer intrusion protocol from cover to cover and nothing had any effect at all.
The broad-spectrum anti-virus didn't work. It was shaken off like a case of fleas. She tried to wall it in by isolating the sector it was currently inhabiting in the computer core, but it would always move to another section.
"So," She pondered aloud. "If I can't kill it, and I can't fence it in, what do I do with it?" Her eyebrows knitted together in thought and sipped her coffee. Her eyes went wide. " I get it to come to me. I lure it into a trap. Computer! She raised her voice. "Transfer virus tracking protocol to this PADD and run a comparative analysis of every sector of computer memory that thing has inhabited. Level 5 diagnostic on the whole kit and caboodle, Then compare it to all previous scans we have on file. "
"Working," The computer responded.
"I'll be in core access," She said to the computer as she stalked out of Engineering.
Liz was greeted by the computer as the door to Core Access slid open. "Analysis complete," it intoned. "Computer memory in sectors occupied by invasive program show thirty seven percent higher fragmentation levels than previous scan."
"That doesn't help. What else ya got?"
"The sector it currently occupies was the most active in the cluster at the time of as it's occupation."
A grin spread across Liz's face. She looked down at her display, then walked over to a bulkhead and pried open a hatch to reveal row upon row of isoliner chips. She ran her finger down the line, locating one. "Computer, start all following commands in processor grid Quebec-Delta-Five-Niner and keep computations confined there."
"Acknowledged. Awaiting commands."
"Calculate Pi to a billion decimal places," The computer beeped. " Now plot a course from our current position to Deep Space Nine with stops in the following order: Bajor, Earth, Kronos, Vulcan, Romulus, and Risa for all available warp factors. Begin a game of Strategema, Number of human players, Zero. Output to this monitor. Cross reference all known outbreaks of the Terellian Flu with all known cases of Irrumatic Syndrome. Give me the average score for every recorded game in Major League Baseball history, categories: Home vs Away. Scan the compete works of Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Tolkien, Herbert, Dickens, Sallenger, Chriton, Clancy, King, Steele, Rowlings, Adams, Asimov, and Heinlien. Give me a count of how many times the folllowing words are used: the, and, or, that and a. Oh, and be a dear and make me another coffee."
"Working."
It was then that the PADD began to sound an alarm. The pup was on the move... And just as Liz predicted, It was on it's way to sector with the highest activity. She smiled toothily and said "Here doggy... Nice doggy... Who's a good boy? Come to mama..."
The PADD stopped beeping. The bait had been taken. The only thing left was to spring the trap. Calmly, Liz began pulling isolinear chips from the wall panel. She had taken a whole row of them by the time she was done and stuffed the lot in her pocket. Mission Accomplished.
MCPO Elizabeth Hale
Ranking Engineering Non-Com
USS Merlin
