Confession is good for the soul

Posted on Tuesday 8 December 2020 @ 12:52 by Civilian Sansa Draxx-Jones & Lieutenant Commander Hayley Godding

Mission: Homeward
Location: Hayleys quarters
Timeline: MD1 1500
2115 words - 4.2 OF Standard Post Measure

ON:

After Fay and Mathias had shared that kiss on the holodeck, Fay was troubled. She loved Tann and wanted to be with him again, yet this human male was strangely compelling. He reminded her so much of Tann and she found his presence while she was in Sansa affected her in a most profound way. She could still feel the touch of his lips on hers... the electric feeling that had coursed through her. She wanted to see him again.

Fay was not the only one in turmoil. Sansa was worried about what happened if Hayley found out. She had not expected Fay to kiss Mathias, yet she had not stopped her either. She could have done, as she did this morning, but she let her anyway.

Fay spoke aloud, knowing Sansa would hear her. "I want to see him again. How about we ask him to dinner."

Sansa though for a moment. She could tell she was serious and she could feel how much it meant to her, but then after what Hayley had said to her earlier. "After we have to tell Hayley what's happening and make sure she's ok with it. She has to know what happened and why."

Fay could sense that Sansa felt very strongly about this and responded. "Yes, of course."

Soon, they found themselves standing outside Hayley's quarters. Fay pressed the chime.

For some reason, Hayley was beginning to compare her quarters to Waterloo Station, what with all the comings and goings in and out of her living space. She doubted she saw this many people during her normal working day, but ever since putting herself on temporary leave, she'd been inundated with visitors. It also always seemed to be when she was least prepared to receive visitors, but then when did people ever unexpectedly visit you when you were prepared for guests?! She was part of the way through one of her Karate movements, wearing a teal sports-bra and matching lycra shorts. She decided to finish the movement but called out; "Come in!"

Fay entered but stopped short as she watched Hayley complete her exercise. when she had finished, she cleared her throat.
"Good afternoon Hayley. Sansa wanted... She felt that we should come and talk to you." She shifted a bit awkwardly on the spot. "Sansa tells me that I should talk to you since I'm the one who's created this situation. Can we sit?"

"Sure." Hayley said, grabbing a bottle of water and her towel and moved over to the soft seating area, allowing Fay to take the sofa whilst she took an armchair opposite. She took a swig of her water before using the towel to remove the sweat from her brow. "Sounds serious..." She said, having a fairly good idea what this might be about, but giving absolutely nothing away, putting on a well practised front that years of security training gave someone facing a potential interview.

While Fay was oblivious, Sansa was watching Hayley and picking up on some subtle clues. "Go on..." She thought to Fay.

Fay took a breath. "So you know...." She hesitated, unsure on how to start, or where. "I Kissed Mathias the other day." Suddenly like a dam bursting, it all came pouring out in one long sentence. "It was me not Sansa, she warned me but... I couldn't help myself. He reminds me so much of Tann and I find him fascinating and he was there and he looked... and it made me feel..." Suddenly she closed her eyes, and Sansa surfaced.

"What she's trying to say," Sansa continued "is she loves Tann and she misses him but she found something in Mathias that makes her feel... feel like he's here. I know it sounds crazy but I think she's not used to human feelings and Mathias made her feel... Wonderful." She added with a smile. She reddened and looked down. "She's experiencing this for the first time. I don't want you getting hurt of finding out about this from someone else. I wanted to come and explain what had happened."

"I appreciate that, both of you. However, I am aware of what transpired in the holodeck, but for you to come and tell me yourselves means a lot to me." Hayley said, knowing that Fay would be listening even in her shame-faced mood.

"Whilst I am understandably a bit put out by the event, I do understand the driving force." She offered a sympathetic smile. "Fay is far from home, she misses Tann who she hasn't seen in nearly a century, yet the moment they were reunited, the council sent her off-world to be with us. She's in your body, which as a teenage girl, is swarming with hormones and emotions she is being bombarded with - not to mention your deep affection for me. Naturally, she's trying to come to terms with what she's feeling in addition to how she feels about Tann and to be presented with a male human she can reach out and touch who so reminds her of Tann... it must've been hard for her."

Whilst Hayley was far from happy about it, going off on a massive rant about it was not helpful, especially given the rational explanation that she knew. She wasn't a counsellor, but she understood basic psychology enough through her line of work to understand the motive for actions taken. It was a prerequisite in security to be able to do it. You could apply it both retroactively for criminal investigations and proactively in predicting what someone might do in a charged situation.

Sansa's eyes went wide. "You know already, but how?" Then, she answered her own question "Mathias! Mathias told you. Well, it's for the best. In fact, I'm glad you know. I was... worried about... after we had talked about considering your feelings... Hang on..." The purple sparkle returned to Sansa's eyes as Fay surfaced again. "This was my doing. When I kissed him, it was like... my... Sansa's entire body was on fire... but in a good way."
She thought for a moment, trying to put these strange thoughts and feelings into words. "When I kissed you later that evening, Sansa responded in much the same way."

She blushed again. "I'm sorry, this is all new for me. We experience.. that in a very different way to you. But, I must confess, I find this Mathias... intriguing and... I would like to spend time with him but I don't want to jeopardise your relationship with Sansa."

"Well, it's nice to know that when I kiss Sansa it sets her on fire... Just imagine how I make her feel when...erm...nevermind." Hayley allowed a girlish giggle, then went back to being serious. "I understand that you're curious Fay, that you're experiencing new things and find them interesting. I also appreciate that's part of why you're out here with us in the first place, but I think we're going to need to establish some ground rules here. I would've thought Sansa would have had this conversation with you already, but knowing her as I do, I suspect she's allowing you room to explore as much as she's exploring herself via you..."

Fay nodded "That would be reasonable Hayley. What do you propose these 'ground rules' are? May I spend time with Mathias?" she asked, sensing Sansa was listening intently as well.

Pausing for a moment, she leaned forward and put her hands on Sansa/Fay's knee. "I'm quite trusting of Mathias. He seems to be a genuinely nice guy, which is quite rare in the male of our species. I've hung out with him twice now, once on the holodeck and then again here at night in my quarters to watch a movie together." She wondered if that fact might upset Sansa, but it had been entirely harmless. Considering it was readily apparent that Hayley had no interest in men in that way, she hoped Sansa wouldn't think anything untoward about it.

"I would not be against you spending time with him in a social setting, but I feel that I must stress that you not try to move any romantic agenda forward. Whatever curiousities you might have, I must ask you to not indulge too much. I'm not going to tell you who you can and who you can't spend time with, but I do ask that you consider that once you go home, Sansa will have to live with the consequences of any decisions you make." She patted Sansa/Fay affectionately. "It's not that I don't trust you, I just want to make sure no one gets hurt, or that Sansa doesn't become an unexpected mother..."

From inside, Sansa's voice popped into Fay thoughts "I don't want to be a Mom yet either!"

Fay nodded. "I understand Hayley and I will respect yours and Sansa's wishes and refrain from any... physical bonding interactions with him. Sansas body's physical responses have been quite powerful and I must admit they caught me off guard but I will endeavour not to embroil Sansa in any romantic overtures with him, would this be satisfactory?"

Physical bonding interactions... possibly the nicest way she's heard that being phrased before... the mental image of that made her wince considerably which may have come across her face despite her best efforts to school her emotions. "Yes, I believe it would..." Hayley said. "If it makes it easier, I believe Lieutenant McPhee has similar reservations regarding... 'physical bonding interactions' with you... mostly out of fear of me castrating him with a wooden spoon... or how Sansa's mother and father would likely react to such news."

Fay burst out laughing, wiping tears from her eyes. Not fully understanding why she was laughing, she tried to stop, with not much success. "I'm sorry, but Sansa found that very amusing."

As the laughing subsided, she continued "I'm really glad we had this conversation Hayley." Fay placed her hand on Hayleys. "Sansa had suggested that I ask Mathias if he would join me for dinner, Perhaps at the Round Table as this was a public setting. Does this sound like a good idea?"

"I don't see why it wouldn't be." Hayley smiled, feeling a slight electric thrill from feeling Sansa's hand on hers, even if it had been Fay doing the gesture. "Might I suggest you don't allow Sansa to suggest your attire for that evening, but rather come to me for advice? I wouldn't put it past Sansa to try to be cheeky and put you in alluring clothing. Considering she had you walking around the ship in a skin-tight body suit for giggles, I question her judgement in such matters."

Fay frowned. "Sansa seems concerned that you'll dress me 'like your grandmother'." She paused. "Apparently, she was joking... She is requesting a nice but conservative dress?"

Hayley cackled at the comment. "So she doesn't want you to wear a Victorian gown then eh?" She smirked before getting up from the armchair and going over to her replicator and playing around with the console. "Hmm... yes... perhaps... no... that'd clash with your hair... hmmm... oh! I know!" She flicked the screen then programmed the replicator, which whirred for a moment and then produced a folded item that Hayley then flourished before her, holding up a Navy Blue full length dress with a slight slit up one side, with occasional blue sequins placed across the upper body, with a conservative upper body that revealed the neckline but would amply cover the bosom without being hideously old-fashioned.

"What do you think?" Hayley asked.

Fay could tell that Sansa was looking at the dress with a critical eye. Eventually, she sensed a nod of approval from her. Fay smiled, still somewhat unsure about fashion but said "It is acceptable. Thank you."

The purple sparkle faded and Sansa emerged once again. "Thanks, Sweetie. You know, we can still spend some time together as well, while Fay is here. I know, no... physical bonding activities as Fay puts it, but can we still enjoy each others company."

Hayley smirked and hung up the dress on a hangar for Sansa to take back to her quarters later. "I'm so tempted to break that rule, but I couldn't do that to Fay." She replied, then turned back to face Sansa. "But, maybe we can show her what real kissing is between two humans who really care about one another. Would that classify as permissible?" She said, sauntering seductively over to Sansa and running a lone finger down her jawline suggestively.

Sansa let out a sigh "You had me at maybe..."

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