A Moment of Helplessness

Posted on Saturday 17 July 2021 @ 12:42 by Gunnery Sergeant Alexander Beck

389 words; about a 2 minute read

Personal Log, Gunnery Sergeant Alexander Beck.

Okay, shit just got real.

I just found out that Marika is involved in an away mission that suddenly went sideways. Granted, I taught my wife how to defend herself. It comes with being a mom, part of the territory. She's good with a phaser and she studies Krav Maga and Aikido with Wyatt and I, so she doesn't need the phaser to take care of herself.

She is more than capable.

But I can't help but feel that it should be me down there. For the first time in years, I feel helpless. Useless. Of course, I can't just grab my rifle and beam down. First, I doubt the Captain or the Major would allow it. It's against regulations for spouses, especially those with kids on board a ship, to go on away missions together. Too risky. It's only allowed in the most extreme of circumstances.

Second, and this is one I agree with, at least on general principle. I couldn't be objective if I were down there. My first instinct would be protecting her. My mind would not be on the mission.

So here I sit.

I'm trying not to worry, of course to no avail. She's my wife, for God's sake!

I can't lose her. I can't go through that again. And Wyatt's already lost his mother once. Granted, he knows Marika is not his biological mother, of course, but she's been raising him since he was nearly three.

The Starfleet in me says to do what Marines hate doing. Wait and try not to think too hard about it.

This goes against every instinct in me as a husband. And a Marine, of course.

But orders are orders. Right now I'm keeping busy with the Marines who are still here. Princess, Lance Corporal Bijoux, is on the relief squad, and she promised me she'd look after her down there.

Meaning, those people, whoever they are, will get to my wife over her dead body.

I'm glad I came back out here. I'd forgotten about the bonds forged in Fleet Marine units.

Maybe I'll take Wyatt to Marine Country. He's always wanting to see where I work. With Major Scarlet off the ship, maybe I can sneak him in, give him a look at what his dad does.

END LOG.

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