Claw Blockers don't exist, yet, here they are

Posted on Wednesday 30 November 2016 @ 20:18 by Commander Save'ena (Sav) Tillatix
Edited on Wednesday 30 November 2016 @ 22:57

1,128 words; about a 6 minute read

OOC: Half the log is missing, don't know what happened. Trying to remember, but re-adding is never as good as original

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===== Direct Access Initiation Mode Time Stamp 1415 Hours ====

Wow, here I am, in the CAG office with Crewman Rhoderick, and writing another personal log. This is my second one of today. Me, Miss never make them, ever, am now writing one for the second time on the same day as the first. I guess, I just felt better after the first one, and so, have to write again with the changes happening.

Well, log, I was accosted by the Ship's second officer about getting slapped by Melody, hiding it, and am pretty much scum to him for lying about it. The thing is, I don't remember a thing about getting hit by Melody, but, it seems to add up from how others have reacted to my questions is that she did slap me. Why, and how I reacted, I don't know, but, she did.

Anyways, as it was counseling, and due to how I react to my nightmares, and as I have claws, I did something very loathsome, a stigma, but yet, it is to protect crew. I replicated the claw blockers from Mr. Thompson's Dungeon. They were designed specifically for me, with a metal android muscle mesh that tightens into my fur and against my skin with small inserts that go into the openings for my claws and over the claw tips. They will prevent me from clawing crew if somebody brings out a nightmare again. Highly unlikely, yet, there is the incident with Melody yesterday, so, I have them on.

At least the stigma of having them on is not really registering with the crew, especially as Wyn... oh, Wyn Rhoderick, she is my CAG Assistant, and I think fast becoming a friend. She suggested something to cover them, and so we replicated fingerless gloves that match my duty sashe color. In wearing them, the claw blockers aren't seen, and crew I have passed seem to look at the gloves, the sashe, and accept I am wearing them without any questions.

However, I forgot how uncomfortable they are. I already have swelling around the inserts, feeling minor itching, and some pains. Then again, when having yourself psychologically being beaten upon to wear and tear you down and then re-image you to a person who wants, desires, and needs to be a willing sex slave, as well as physical training for wanting and desiring anything your owner wants to degrade you with, the minor 'inconvenience' of wearing the gloves doesn't even register.

I wonder how bad it will get before I am forced to go see a doc to get some medication to help with the inflammation and pains. Heh, that could be a rather interesting trip. As I have the gloves, and am wearing them, I can talk about them being on me. But if anyone was to ask how or where I got them, that opens up a can of worms. The overlays would make sure I said that 'such devices do not exist as they are the fantasy imaginings of a Rave Teenager who fixated upon Mr. Andrew Thompson and Councilman Diostros and should not be brought up again as decreed by the Apollonia Court.'

Lots of laughs, I am wearing phantom claw blockers that are my imaginings and yet are real but cannot be real as decreed by the Courts and the Federation Governmental workings, and yet I feel them burning their mark into my flesh of my hands and feet, and yet are the lunatic ravings of a lonely, seeking attention Mephetian Teenage girl. I guess.. I guess.. if I wasn't writing the log this way, I would be laughing hysterically and having Wyn check on me. It is so funny, in a 'ha ha' way and not a joke way.

At least they aren't as bad as my internal mesh. Six years, and it still isn't gone. I wonder if I am healed enough for Doc Miller to just remove the damned thing. Heck, I may go in and have her do it anyway, to get rid of the pulling, pinching, pains, and blood flow that always happens from any exertions. Heck, I wonder if she would do it anyway just so I could not feel pains throughout my abdomen before I passed on. Yeah, I know, bad thought, bad. Sav, you have to keep fighting, no matter how exhausted you are feeling.

Remember, there is Wolf and Melody. Both of them have endured much more than you have. If they can keep going, you can keep going. And thinking of them, is the XO an agent of Diostros? And, why he is taking so long to make his move to try and collect me? After all, it isn't like he is going to forget paying 5 million for my chastity, life and pelt. He definitely got the first one, almost the second, and doesn't have the third left. I bet he would love to string me up and do it all over ag... wait. That's it. I have not healed, the mesh is not out. I bet he is waiting for me to heal and then make his move.

So, shoot, do I really want it out now? I don't know, maybe when it does come out, put a fib in my record it was replaced with a fresh one, even though not? Hey, I wonder if that is possible, to get rid of this one and get a newer one put in? I mean, it has been six years and medical science is advancing all the time.

Wow, I went all over the map today, Log. Sorry about that. I mean, sorry I have to dump on you, but glad you are here to let me dump. This is helping, now that I am writing this way and not via voice. And, I am running out of time. Right now, Wyn sees me sipping coffee and touching my console, which has simulations of the surrounding space as I try to match it up for getting some pilot training in. Meeting Prerequisites for specific training to a real region of space is difficult. Anyways, she is going to come over to refill this, and I cannot have these words displayed on the screen.

The only other person who knows my abilities is Melody, as she is keeping it mum for me. I don't need any further interest in me by bigwigs. Being a rare, reverse colored Mephetian female is bad enough without piling it on. And, good thing nobody ever reads these, huh.

Anyways, until next time personal log, Save'ena signing...


===== Direct Access Termination Mode Time Stamp 1418 Hours ====

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