I'll settle for 'friend'

Posted on Saturday 27 April 2024 @ 04:36 by Lieutenant JG Zirvell Khen & Lieutenant JG Oakham Renn

Mission: The Search
Location: Security office
960 words - 1.9 OF Standard Post Measure

Following his chat with the counselor, Zirvell felt he had to follow through before he'd lose his courage to speak up. He knew Oakham was likely in one of the security offices, it was merely tue question whether he'd be turned away again.

"Oakham?" He called out as soon as he spotted the Bajoran. "Can we talk? Please?"

"I'm busy" he retorted not even looking up from the console he was doing nothing at, or at least nothing of any importance. His heart had jumped into his throat mind you at the sound of Zirvell's voice. Not through fear or anger but simply at being able to hear him. The young Cardassian had an almost palpable effect on him.

"It's important," Zirvell pleaded quietly, though he remained in the doorway instead of moving closer. "About something that happened in the Nexus..." of which he still wasn't sure whether that had been real, or a figment of his imagination. "Please?"

Renn tensed at the mention, his own experience having been a very personal and intimate affair, one that involved Zirvell, something he wanted to keep hidden from view where only he could enjoy the memory.
Slowly he turned to face the Cardassian, motioning for the pair to move to one of the smaller side offices where they could get some semblance of privacy despite there only being him and one other on duty and she was busy walking through the daily routines of checking the armoury.

Once the pair were in the office the Bajoran closed the door, not securing it on the chance he needed to make a rapid exit from the conversation.
"What's so important?"

"I had a really...unusual experience in the Nexus," Zirvell started uncertainly, "and it involved you. I'm trying to figure out whether it was real, or something the Nexus just threw at me." He drew in a deep breath, gathering his courage as he shifted to look directly at the Bajoran. "We were in sickbay, and you had injured yourself somehow..." He paused, fidgeting a little, bracing himself for an outburst. "You kissed me..." His face seemed to shift to a different shade of grey as he held the Bajoran's gaze. "I don't know if I imagined it, or if it was real. And if it was real...I..." He faltered again, looking away this time. "I don't know if it meant anything?" he finished.

Renn's mind was reeling from the revelation. It had happened even if the surrounding was nothing more than a shade created by some ethereal entity. He was convinced his expression was betraying him as well as he could feel his cheeks burning as the blood rushed to them.
"You..." he faltered. "You didn't imagine it... Not all of it".

The Cardassian's eyes widened in genuine surprise. "It was real? But how...how did that place us together and why?" Surprise made way for confusion. "I don't understand..." He could see the flush in the Bajoran's cheeks, which only confused him more. "You seem to hate me... even though you don't really know me, and then that .." He paused. "I'd settle for just having a friend. Until we figure this out anyway..." Zirvell still didn't understand his own feelings, he liked Oakham, but did he love him? He didn't know, he didn't know what love was supposed to feel like. What he currently felt in no way compared to the teenage crush he used to have on his now adopted sister.

"I may need your patience" he suddenly felt a need to be completely honest. "I'm a product of my people and we have a very deep rooted hatred for Cardassian's. I look at you and I despise you and..." he trailed off not wanting to say love or desire as it felt far to cliché. Instead he mumbled something almost unintelligible before continuing. "I need you to be patient with me!"

Zirvell offered an uncertain and perhaps somewhat shy smile in return. "You don't need my patience Oakham, because unless you haven't noticed, you already are in possession of that." Surely the Bajoran had noticed his already near endless patience with him? "Like I said, I don't know what I feel because I've never experienced this before but I would rather have a friend than something we may never have." He slowly reached out, but never touched the other man. "I don't want to hurt your feelings if it turns out that we don't feel the same, so I need your patience as well if we are to.... explore this."

His words gave Renn hope that things could work out and that despite his behaviour towards him so far he was still, willing to see what happens. At the very least perhaps he and this Cardassian could become friends... Something that was rare within the Bajoran people.

"Are we?" Zirvell ventured carefully as he studied the Bajoran, who had remained silent. "And can you be patient with me too if I don't respond as expected?"

"Yes!" Renn said in earnest, possibly also a little to quickly before he coughed slightly and recomposed himself before he added in a less eager tone. "I would like that."

Slowly, Zirvell reached out to offer his hand. "Then we shall explore this," he agrees, "build on friendship, and more if fate has that in store for us." He smiled gently at the Bajoran. "No need to curb your enthusiasm, there's no one else here."

He let his defences down as Zirvell had instructed but he still compromised with himself knowing that what he wanted to do could be unwelcomed at this time. Instead he leaned in and kissed the Cardassian's cheek instead and then whispered in his ear "Thank you".

END